As you might have realized from my last post, I am a changed person as a reader, listener, viewer or writer. I have experienced consecutive, multiple, deep failures. And had enough time to introspect and change. But the one thing I was incapable of changing was the scenario around me.
I looked for what’s wrong. And was provided with the false satisfaction that the world needs time to change to good. You can’t get the good with a finger click. You need time, so does the world around you. But you see the shit happens in split seconds and we don’t argue against it.
Let’s push the philosophy apart. I am talking about my country, not the world because that’s the farthest my experiences have reached till date.
India is the part of Asia, where the people are considered intellectually superior than the rest of the world. And research tells that the secret to this superiority lies in the disciplined culture we live in. What our teachers and parents mean to us acquires a higher level in our belief. And their words are respected thereof.
Although our teachers would not accept this today as they do not think they are respected anymore by the upcoming generations. But they are absolutely wrong.
They blame the infiltrating western culture. But they are blind as they still hold the strings to the future of this nation.
How do you think we enroll ourselves to the rat race of Board toppers, jobless engineers, money hungry doctors, short cut fame achievers, super narrow tunnel visioned souls who know everything accompanied by nothing.
After years of disciplined education and securing A’s in every subject and winning every competition, we are thrown into the hands of tunneled reality. The reality of social acceptance. We are taught by hypocrites, who for years have inculcated in us the value that we can do anything we want. But the moment we step out they are the very first people to expect from us, achieving in the few fields that are socially accepted. And if we dare to go against their expectations, we are just putting ourselves into years of disrespect and a weird struggle to achieve fame and money and then finally being accepted by those social leeches.
You might state here that every person is supposed to struggle once in their life, to achieve their goals. But the struggle here is unnecessary and is imposed by the people who mean something to you. Even if we ignore the policy of social acceptance, we still need financial and moral support to move forward. And these two are too rare in my world.
The root of this issue is that we are provided with ideas that support the existence of such a mindset. Movies, videos, songs, and other escape gates that we choose to put entertainment in our life too demand the same mindset.
You can’t just grow into an adult, put yourself through the course of realization and then start criticizing and rallying against such ideas. We need to expose the growing minds to this.
We accept what we sense repeatedly.
In High School we are divided into, three groups according to the subjects we choose; Science, Commerce, and Humanities. Science too constitutes of two folks, Future Engineers, and Future Doctors. my passion since the age of 10, was science, every kind of science, for me it was all about exploring and feeding the curiosity. I loved biology, more precisely, the human brain. I was always fascinated by the idea of how the conscience works, what makes us unique, what makes us tick, our perception, our sense mechanism. And I still believe that one can change the world if one gets to decode the human mind. Our working is under direct governance of the brain.
So I opted for Biology. That was the same year, I changed my school (the best one in the city). So, I spent the first year all happy, energetic and oblivious of my future. Whereas, the rest of the class was already enrolled at coaching centers which were preparing them for Pre-Medical Exams.
That is, I was in the class of future doctors. My scores started going down at school. So next year, I too enrolled myself into one of the coaching centers. I was too deep into Pre- Medicals then. I realized that there was no future for a Biology scientist in my country. Whatever biological breakthroughs that happened in my country were by Non-Residential Indians or was in the field of agriculture.
Financially I wasn’t capable of going out of the nation and take further education. So the only outcome was to move with the flow. I was quite repelled by the idea of becoming a doctor since childhood. So, something within me didn’t allow me to access my full potential in examinations and I failed. I failed repeatedly, till I was given a chance to think about pursuing something else.
I roamed around to every option, put it on balance. I realized that the only option to do something else was to enroll myself for a good Honors degree in any subject and then target MBA. A good option it might seem. For the reader, it would seem, that I was in a pool of options. But the reality was quite different. I am quite studious and ambitious since the beginning. And getting into the most prestigious University of the nation was not a big deal for me. I enrolled, I got selected but then the real face of my society, more precise my father came into existence. Within one year of time, he made me realize that we belong to the financially lower background, you better get lots of degrees right here in the city, I won’t let you go out of the city but I want you to be independent, once you are done with your education, I will throw you into marriage, because if you exceed your age limit you won’t get an appropriate groom, and that you are living in a male dominant society, rearing a family is your ultimate destiny, I don’t believe in society but I believe in society, I show to the world that I am too proud of you, so you better NEVER make a mistake, you are just another stupid female in this society, although you are my daughter, so I love you, but you can’t change the truth. His hypocrisy was at its peak. He said none of it but behaved as he believed all of it.
And then I realized, that my ultimate goal in my life is to become a doctor because that is what is going to rescue me from this shit. That is the only thing that would bring me name, fame and the chance to independent existence.
But where did this shit come from? I mean what is making my own father behave like this, spare the society.
The truth is that the seed to every idea was sown long before we even started thinking.
This is what the parents, teachers, movies, songs, visuals, videos, newspapers, magazines, the social network have been filling us up with.
I researched a lot, psychology, patterns, logic, practical execution. I tested all. And realized that the solution is too simple.
Wanna know what……just hang on there…..my next post is gonna be all about it.